She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
