i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
