nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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