i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
