Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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