Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
