Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
