its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
