He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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