you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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