and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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