I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
