Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
