She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
