She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
