im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
