? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
