I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
