omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
