Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
