garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize