I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
