Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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