Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
