were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
