The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
