you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize