Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
