Need sex. Gaining weight.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
