He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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