just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
