i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
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