It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
