just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
