thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
