stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
