would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
