Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just invented taco cereal.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
