Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
