You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I stole a fireplace last night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
