I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Help. Why am I so naked?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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