you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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