we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
