I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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