Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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