similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
