Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
