Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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