when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
