What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Green mimosas i think yes
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
