that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
