As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
