she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
