She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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