Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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