but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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