yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
