she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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