I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
