if i can run in heels then i can drive
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
