Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
