I love black thongs
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it hurts more in the daytime
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
