Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
